Treehouse of Horror: The Lost Book
by Z451
Summary: My version of three new Treehouse of Horror tales.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Simpsons, Treehouse of Horror or any of the parodied tales.**

Now that you have listened to that enjoy the story.

We open to a museum where people are moving around talking and looking around the museum in the section titled, Old Antiquities Of Previous Civilizations.

A blond hair guy sees a Marge's advisory from the first Treehouse of Horror.

Then says "What a waste?"

"I mean total waste of people's time and money".

Then as he keeps jabbering on a knight next to the glass viewing area cuts off his head with an axe.

After that the knight keeps cutting up his head which splatters blood on the viewing glass reveling Treehouse of Horror: The Lost Tales.

Then we flash to the Simpson house where Bart and Lisa arrive home on the afternoon of Halloween.

"Man, I can't believe that Krababel gave me a homework assignment on Halloween" Bart says.

"Well what's the assignment?" Lisa says.

"I have to write a paper on three halloween tales from the 80's and 90's.

"Well mabye there is a book in our bookcase that can help us".

Lisa heads over to living room book case in corner of room.

"Hm... Let's see" Lisa examines the books.

"Hm..., "How to Cook Skunks", "Great New Money Saving Techniques".

"Oh here something".

Lisa pulls out a brown book then blows off the dust.

"Horrifying Halloween Tales".

"And the years say 1969-1999".

"All right Lis."

"Just find a tale for us to begin with".

"Alright,oh here's one it's titled "Kabraman".

"It's an Indian horror tale".

"Great translations" Bart says groaning.

"Oh, don't worry Bart it might be interesting".

We fade into book where title Kabraman appears on screen.

Then we see an apartment where Homer is kissing Marge romantically.

"Oh..., Marge cheating on Selma with you is so amazing".

"Homer shush we don't want my husband to figure out".

Then start to kiss again when the door slams open.

In the doorway is Artie Ziff with a green liquid in an alcohol bottle.

"I thought you were cheating on me".

"I always had the impression".

"Artie, it's not what it looks like".

"Yeah Artie buddy it's not what it looks like".

"I wasn't talking to you".

"Sorry but I talk sporadically when I'm nervous" Homer says looking at the ground and moving his leg.

"Shut up".

"Hey Marge, let's see how much your new boyfriend likes you after I melt your face.

"Homer quick do something."

Artie is about to open the bottle and toss the liquid at Marge.

While Homer goes to night stand where he sees a gun and a bible.

Homer who was supposed to grab the gun grabbed the bible and chucks it at Artie's bottle just as he's about to toss the liquid.

"Eat god fiend".

Then the bottle smashes and the acid hits Artie's face disfiguring him.

Artie falls to the ground and is moving sporadically all around in seizure form.

Homer then takes the bible and beats his head with it rapidly.

"Die zombie".

"Uh... Homer don't you think we should take him to the hospital?".

"We will just as soon as I kill this zombie".

"Die, Die, Die".

Eventually Artie falls straight up dead on there ground.

"Homer we killed him" Marge says ashamed.

"Uh, no we didn't" Homer picks Artie up and starts to move him like a puppet.

"I'm not dead, I'm just sleeping" Homer says mimicking a ventriloquist dummy.

Then Artie's head falls off.

"Um, my head always does that" Homer continuing.

We then move to a scene where Homer and Marge are burying Artie in his reserved grave.

In the background we see two other people burying Jason but he keeps coming back up.

So they keep hitting him down with a shovel.

"Homer don't you think we should say something".

"Okay, good bye dirt bag".

"Homer I meant something meaningful from the bible".

"Marge don't worry it's not like he is going to rise from the grave and slowly kill all my friends and family just to gain revenge on me".

"Well if you say so" Marge says.

"Don't worry everything is going to be alright".

Meanwhile in the background the people are running away as Jason has the shovel and is chasing after them.

We then fade for a few minutes to a bar where Homer is sitting that night discussing his day.

"And then Marge is like let's bury him in the cemetery".

"And I say okay whatever Marge".

"Homer you did say a prayer to signify the signal for him to move on right Moe says.

"Uh kinda sorta".

Then a few seconds later the zombie Artie appears in the doorway.

"Which one of you is Homer Simpson?".

"I'm Homer Simpson" Barney says.

The zombie tears him in half then goes back to conversation.

"Which one of you is Homer?".

Homer starts to hide behind a pinball machine in the corner.

Moe then says, "Homer's over there behind the pinball machine".

Homer starts to run toward a door that leads to an alleyway outside.

Then he turns around and shouts, "Quick run guys he's trying to kill me".

Homer runs out the door and Lenny, Carl and Moe stand up.

"If your going to kill Homer you'll have to go through us first".

We fade a few seconds later where Homer looks back to see Lenny and Carl get kill but not Moe.

"Oh, come on" Moe shouts.

Homer then rushes through the alleyway to Marge's apartment.

Meanwhile Artie's zombie is following.

When Homer gets to Marge's room he put a chair in front of the door.

"Marge quick Artie's zombie is trying to kill me".

"Then my horoscope was right today".

Marge and Homer look at newspaper.

It reads, "Your husband's zombie will kill you and your lover today".

Then the door smashes open with Artie's zombie standing in it.

Homer and Marge are huddled at the middle of the bed.

"Homer Simpson, it's time to die".

Homer quickly throws stuff from the nightstand at Artie's zombie.

He throws a water bottle, a TV remote, sunglasses.

Then Marge interrupts him.

"Homer, the gun".

"Great thinking Marge this will finish him off".

Homer prepares to throw the gun at Artie when Marge stops him.

"Don't throw it shoot it".

"Oh... All right".

Homer fires the gun at Artie's head, heart, and lungs.

He collapses onto the floor then Homer keeps shooting him.

After he supposedly dies Homer does a victory dance on his body.

And he stands up alive again.

"D'oh" Homer says as the zombie kills him.

We then fade back to the Simpson couch where Lisa reads.

"He and his love were died and the zombie finally rested at peace".

"Lis, that was worthless".

"Yeah, but you can't help seeing the tragedy and love in that story".

"Like that of Titanic or West Side Story" Homer says.

Then he starts dancing like the Jets from West Side Story.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer, I do not own the Simpsons, Treehouse of Horror or any of the parodied tales.**

"Well come on Lis".

"Alright, alright Bart".

"The next tale that you'll find interesting is about revenge also".

"It's called the Pumpkin Keeper".

We fade into the screen as the words Pumpkin Keeper appear on the screen in front of background.

Then we fade to a countryside plain with a few hills.

Where we see Nelson and his gang riding ATVs off the hills.

Nelson is playing paddle ball while in midair.

Kearney launches a kick off the side with his right leg.

Jimbo is doing his homework.

And Dolph is making pina coladas in the air.

Soon they land land to regroup with Nelson.

"So what do you guys want to do now?" Jimbo says.

"I think we should probabely recite dirty poetry in front of old people".

Jimbo then pushes him off the ATV.

"That's for suggesting amateur stunts".

"Ha Ha, your an amateur" Nelson says.

"Okay let's see were on ATVs so let me say this again".

"What do you guys want to do now?".

"How about we go for another lap around the course but faster".

"That I have no problem with".

"Hey how come when he suggests something he doesn't get hurt?".

"Because he isn't as much a loser as you are".

"Now come on".

The group then speeds off onto the course again.

While Bart just sits there kicking a can in the middle of the path.

"Man this kicking this can here sure is fun".

"And lucky for me there aren't any ATVs here now".

Just then Jimbo's gang comes up the path with Jimbo in front.

Jimbo's ATV soars in the air.

Then hits the ground at fast speed crashing into Bart.

"Oh man" Jimbo then gets off the ATV.

Soon the rest off the gang gets to the spot as well.

"Hey Jimbo what's going on?" Kearney says.

"I think I killed this little dude".

"No you didn't ".

Kearney then shakes Bart.

"Be alive or I'll pound you dork".

Bart then is seen flopping around in Kearney's arms.

"Um dude, I don't think you should be doing that" Dolph says.

"Yean why not?".

"Because you just gave him a brain aneurysm".

"Oh well yeah".

"Well what do we do know?".

Everyone then looks up to Jimbo who is standing there.

"Well we can't just ditch him in the lake or something".

"Why not?"Kearney asked.

"Because that type of cover up is overused".

Behind them we see a group of teenagers dropping a fisherman into the river.

A couple of mafia placing a body into the river.

And Barney dumping Rosie O' Donald's body into the river.

"That's for the terrible ratings".

"Who would have ever thought Rosie O' Donald would be a good guest star."

Then the screen fades to a house on a farm where Jimbo and the gang bring Bart's body to the screen door.

Marge sits between the screen door and the front porch.

"Oh, it's okay everything will be fine".

Then Homer comes out with a double barrel shotgun.

"Homer no".

Homer then fires several shots in the air.

"What that sheep rustler has been taking my sheep's wool for days now?".

Homer then sees Marge crying and Jimbo and his gang in shock.

"What?".

"What did I do?".

Then we fade to the swamp where Homer is seen walking to the witch's house.

When he arrives we see him go inside the house.

"Come in I'll be with you in a moment".

"Just make yourself at home".

Homer looks around and sees a jar of eyes.

"Oh marshmallow eye balls".

Homer then grabs one of the eyes out and eats it.

When the witch comes back to sit down we see Homer sitting with the jar in his lap eating the eyes.

"So what is it that I can do for you?".

"Can you get some sugar?".

The witch then looks at Homer shocked when she sees the eyes.

"You do now those are real eyes don't you?".

"What?".

Homer then sees the bottle and spits out pieces of an eyeball.

After that he puts the jar back.

"Remind me not to eat your halloween candy".

The witch rolls her eyes then we fade to the next scene.

"So I looking for something in the revenge area of your expertise".

"Then you should try Pumpkin Skull".

"Just dig up his remains and cast this spell".

The witch whispers into Homer's ear.

"Oh so you want me to say, Karam-Sevo-".

"Don't say it out loud".

"Okay but I have something to tell you".

Homer whispers into the witch's ear.

"I already know how to make pot roast" the witch says frustrated.

"But do you know how to make it Cajun style?".

"Er..., just go".

Then we see Homer in the next scene digging up dirt far deeper into the swamp.

"I'm on the highway to hell, bumb bum".

"Highway to hell".

Then we see Homer picking out the parts with a pumpkin head with a red beard attached to it.

After Homer is finished taking out the parts he casts the spell and they come together to form an orange figure with Willie's head.

"Alright" Homer says telling the creature his instructions.

"I need you to kill these kids".

Homer then pulls out a school class photo.

"There as good as dead like Willie".

"Oh whoops wait, not all of them just these ones".

"I can't see um".

"There right there".

"Noop".

"There".

"Still can't".

After a little bit more arguing between Homer and Willie in the pumpkin head design we fade to a cabin.

"So what do we do now?" Jimbo asks.

"I don't know but I don't want to go to sleep with that guy in your dreams" Dolph says.

"Who Freddy Kreuger?" Kearney says.

"No even scarier Richard Simmons".

"Wow man that is scary".

Just then Willie bursts in as pumpkin head.

"What the?".

Willie then grabs the couch tosses Jimbo off and splits in half.

Then he begins to use the halves like nunchucks.

Kearney gets a defensive pose ready to fight.

"This thing thinks it's tough enough to take me on eh?".

"Let's see what you got".

The creature grabs one of the halves and stabs Kearney to death with the couch leg.

"Ha, Ha your dead" Nelson says as Kearney falls over to the side.

Then the creature stabs Nelson to death with the other couch half's leg.

"That's not funny" Nelson says as he dies.

Then the creature moves toward Jimbo.

"Don't worry man I have you covered" Dolph says moving in front of Jimbo.

The creature rips his head off and places basketball with it to get it into the garbage can.

Then it makes it and a game siren goes off.

The creature then chants after that.

A few seconds later we see Homer smash through the door Jimbo was leaning on.

"Don't worry I'll save you".

"Because you have seen the error of your ways".

"No, because all Marge wants to watch is taped Jerry Springer reruns".

Homer then shoots the creature with his shotgun until it falls over.

The creature mutters in Willie's voice," I'm not cleaning this up".

Then Homer tries to perform the resurrection ceremony again.

And the screen fades back to the Simpson house.

"So Bart learn anything from that story?".

"Yeah that pumpkins can be really scary".

And we see Bart beating up Martin dressed in a pumpkin costume.

"I told you it's just a costume".

"Get back you monster".


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Simpsons, Treehouse of Horror, or any of the parodied tales.**

**With that said enjoy the rest of the fanfic for this year.**

**And prepare for Teen Simpsons because a new character is hinted at in this story.**

"Okay Lis, let's finish this so we can go trick-or-treating tonight".

"Alright Bart, this last tale is the most terrifying yet it's called Saute Ala Homer"

We then fade to a French restaurant where the words Saute Ala Homer appear on screen before us.

Then we see Homer sitting at a table in the restaurant in the position of a health inspector.

After viewing Homer gorging himself yet again we see the chefs and owners discussing.

"What should we do Alex?".

"I mean the ambassador from China is coming to our restaurant in a few weeks".

"And if we don't pass inspection by that health inspector over there we will never see his arrival".

"Enough from both of you".

"I'd rather put two solid eggs in my skull rather then hear you two whine".

"The key with anything is to find it's weaknesses".

"And it appears his is food".

"I mean look at him".

The screen turns to Homer who we see eating a whole baguette in one sitting.

"More please".

"But sir, you have already had over one-hundred and forty baguettes, forty glasses of wine, fifteen crepe suzzetes and three omelets".

"Yeah, yeah I know but I guess I may have just happened to see a rat scurry around your carpeting or a termite cutting off your wood".

"Alright as you wish sir."

"Oh and be sure that you bring back ten more steak tartars".

As the waiter is walking back we follow him with the screen back to the conversation behind the counter.

"I swear if I have to bring him another baguette or sing anymore folk songs I may actually take a violin string and decapitate him myself".

"Relax, Fredrick we are going to take care of him ourselves".

Alex then walk over to Homer's table.

"I see you are enjoying your meal and I hope our quality hasn't disappointed you".

"Your doing fine but where are the buffalo wings?".

"Well between you and me I actually hide my buffalo wing stash in the back freezer would you like to come with me".

"Fine but are they tasty".

"Yes, yes tastiest in the world".

Alex and Homer walk into the freezer.

The kitchen doors then close and we hear "Hey there's no buffalo wings in here?".

Then we see Homer be knocked out by Alex bashing him in the back of the head with a box of hamburgers.

We then fade back to the freezer from Homer's point of view.

We can see Alex perfectly but Homer is still hazy.

"Hello health inspector you up?".

"Yes I am chicken man".

"What?".

"Oh".

Then we see Alex turn Homer away from the box with the chicken mascot on it.

As Homer is turning he sees several skeletons strung up like meat with their arms chained up to the hooks.

Homer screams and realizes as his arms are stuck that he is strung up to.

"Oh sorry about the mess we don't clean up until next month".

"Why are?".

"They strung up in this freezer well you see Homer every so often the ambassadors of various Asian countries visit our restaurant to eat and when they eat they always order Chef's Specialty".

"A delicous dish that requires well basically human flesh and other parts".

"And sad to say we are going to kill you and remove all your flesh so we can make it for China's ambassador this today".

"Well at least your giving me less torture then a Jerry Seinfield joke".

"Yeah I prefer Fraser anyway goodbye Homer".

They then begin to take Homer down and move him to the meat grinder.

"Oh no is this the end of Homer Simpson, you'll have to wait until the next episode to find out".

"On today's episode, Homer will try to escape his own death".

"Hey guys before I die can I ask what you guys think about Prince?".

"Oh well he's okay but he needs more entertaining qualities about him".

"Like Michael Jackson's moon walk".

Homer performs the moonwalk and slips out of captivity.

Then he kicks the waiters into the meat grinder where there bodies get torn to pieces.

Homer then tries to escape the kitchen with Alex blocking his path.

"Today you die, Homer Simpson".

Alex reveal a katana from it's holster on his back.

Homer then uses his chains to fight off Alex's katana.

Until he grasps the katana's blade in his chains.

Homer then throws Alex into the meat grinder.

And the door burst open revealing Marge with a machete.

"Marge don't kill me".

"Homer it's okay I'm just here to remind you about our dinner tonight it's a killer".

"Great".

Homer and Marge then leave the restaurant together.

Meanwhile the Chinese ambassador sits down at a table impatiently.

The ambassador shouts," I've been waiting for a waiter for twenty minutes".

"This restaurant is worse then Micheal Jordan's in the American casino".

We then return to the Simpson living room once again.

"Lis, that was just disgusting with no point to it".

"Like me".

The meat character from Mortal Kombat then enters the living room.

Bart, Lisa and Maggie then flee the living room.

And meat looks over to the screen and writes in blood, "Happy Halloween".

We basically then fade to the Simpson's closing credits with the classic Treehouse of Horror song and end the fanfic for this year.


End file.
